wah wah wah

its my blog so ill rant if I want to...

This past week ive been skitzo & range from this / omg to unbelievable rage and sadness at the passing of prop 8, which affects family friends personally as well as totally fucking breaks my heart. It may not be that bleak but it feels like the entire gay rights movement which I have participated in during my lifetime is a failure, backfiring across the country w/ at least 41 states that now have statutes and/or constitutional provisions that prohibit same-sex marriage.

I guess the narrative is that we need to step back and win the affections of the people. (o rly? gag) we laugh and joke and act all cute on tv, and people love us and presidential candidates are hamming it up with ellen and you turn around and no everyone haaates us. [ ahem .. where were you barack] I always thought courts were the way to go, pushy but less humiliating than propositions. And we're right, not with this psuedo democratic mass rule but b/c we're created equal. I dont really know whats going to happen to the gay rights movement, but for now it feels like we are back to ZERO and its mindblowingly frustrating.

I cant avoid the personal. Esp when these scum have the audacity to call themselves things like Focus on the Family. My little brother just transfered from community college and entered his first semester at SCAD in Georgia studying achitecture. I'm so proud of him! But as my only sibling who is gay, he gets the bulk of my worries. Will his generation be as scarred and dysfunctional as my parents? Like them, will his friends be refugees confined to urban centers?

Theres a quote about fellow gayspawn in this 2004 article:

"For every kid who champions the brand-new world his gay parents have created, there's another one who sees his gay parents as so banal that they're not worth mentioning, or another who resents the way her parents' sexuality has become the central feature of her life. One young woman I interviewed, an academic in her late 20's who is still close with her out gay father, recently started dating a man who told her on their first date that he didn't believe gays should raise kids. She kept seeing him anyway, as if to prove she wouldn't let that one issue define her life, wouldn't use it as the litmus test by which she judged every person she encountered."

ugh, the dreaded litmus. I hate that i feel confined to an urban liberal bubble, and I always try to escape it but no it folloooowwws me. and it will always be the test by which I judge my nation.